Radio Australia Today Editorial

My house invaded by nuns

11 December 2009

The Parliament of World Religions has been on in Melbourne over the last week, and all over the streets of this fine city have been people dressed in red or yellow robes, some with bindis on their forehead, turbans or fezs. Six thousand people trying to do for religious interconnectivity what politicians in Copenhagen have been simultaneously trying to do for climate.

It all wrapped up two nights ago, and the assorted robes and headgear are now being seen at Melbourne’s airport as the six thousand or so delegates head home.

Yesterday one group, a delegation supporting Dharma Master Hsin Tao from Taiwan, checked out of their apartment, and my generous wife offered our humble home as a place to stay until their midnight flight.

So I was a little surprised to come home from walking the dog yesterday afternoon to find my house full of grey-robed Taoist nuns. My first reaction was to I warn myself to be on my best behaviour. No joking. No rummaging through the snacks with my fingers. No complaining, and absolutely, and I say absolutely, no swearing.

But it wasn’t like that. The nuns all had their cameras out, and were taking photos of every detail of our house. Every interesting bit of furniture, every nic-nac. Even the joke toilet roll holder that a friend bought us a few Christmases ago that had two procelain feet sticking out from the bottom of the rolls. I realised pretty quickly that these people, who had lived for many years in a monastery on a Taiwan mountain, had not been to a suburban house for a long long time, if ever. They were fascinated, and were the first to make the jokes about toilet rolls. Monastic toilet humour I suppose you could say.

I made dinner, a vegan chicken rice dish, which was suitably blessed and eaten with gusto. They even asked for some to take on the plane with them, which is very gratifying considering chicken rice, vegan or not, is a genuine Chinese meal. When the Chinese want seconds, you can feel you’ve done okay.

Especially since nuns wouldn’t lie to you.

Well that’s what I want to believe anyway.

- Phil Kafcaloudes (fake chicken rice king)